A New Life!

Hi everyone – I am so very happy – a new man in my life who is so very special and loves me.  Not a replacement for John, because that would never work.  But a special person, different in his own right and very, very sexy. 

It’s late and I need to go to bed, but I had to tell you all about my Mark.  So very special, so romantic and so very, very erotic and romantic.  I don’t think I will ever be able to share this blog with him, as it bares my soul and reveals every weakness that I have, but he has changed things so much in the last few months. 

I actually never really believed that there would be any man that could take a place in my life the way John did, but it seems that it can happen.  I thought that I would be alone for the rest of my life and that there would never be a man that could make life complete the way that my John do that for me.  So this has come as a complete suprise – something very exciting, very comfortable, and very easy. 

 

Heading for bed – no junk food in the house – oh boy, I am distraught!  

Hi again everyone – things have changed.

Wow – I have looked back at the posts that I have written on this blog and I am so grateful that they have followed the amazing progression that has been my life since John died. 

I realize as I read what I wrote, that I have had an amazing and difficult progression through the life that followed becoming a widow.  There have been moments when I have felt that I have found someone to help, then lost them again.  I have never, ever, and never will, stopped loving John.  It’s a hard act to follow – I need to love someone differently – it may happen, and may already be happening, but I cannot really believe just yet. 

There is a truely difficult transition where the guilt that comes from feeling for someone else is overwhelming.  I loved John so much that to think that I could love someone else leaves a guilt trip that buries any feeling that I could hope to feel – the true love that I felt leaves me feeling that I should never love again.  Not realistic, but very emotional.  And John would be really very mad at me – he would want me to love again.  He always said that if either of was to go, that it would have to be him, since he couldn’t live without me, and he thought I could live without him.  That is a thought that is so hard to handle, since he may be right, but it really is not as easy as he thinks – I miss him so much. 

I will write more – I may love again, but it will be entirely different.  We live to love and it has been a very long time since I did love – I may again, eventually.  I miss you JB!

No junk food in the house, but I could really go a burger!!

Weebles

Oh Boy – I have committed to a whole lot more!!

I am a little weary tonight – I have committed to a new website, teaching and all the other stuff that goes with the kennel and the quilting businesses.

And I have also committed to a new relationship – and that is what I need to talk about right now.  We are apparently in a ‘exclusive’ relationship.  Which means we just date each other, or as my son would say – we are ‘going steady’.  Let’s see how it goes – I am terrified!

So – for all my friends who read this blog of mine – I am tired, excited, stretched and miss you all! 

Never do anything without passion.

Weebles

The last of the carpet has left the building.

Joy, joy, joy, joy!!!

I know I had taken most of the carpet out of the living room, but there was about 12 square foot left underneath the TV on the nook.  And that TV stand and the TV weigh a ton – so now they are in the middle of the living room (still hooked up), but I need to be out in the front yard to watch TV!

So I am hoping to be finished with all that by next week sometime.

And I have ordered a website – an e-commerce site to go with the quilting blog.  So, just so I can keep track and prioritize, here is the list of stuff that needs to be done:

1.  Continue working on the designs and write patterns.

2.  Write the quilt recipe book and design the quilts.

3.  Work on the design of the website and the content.  Patterns, books, quilting stuff – preferably stuff that people will want to buy – serious thought needed here.

4.  Finish the house renovation.

5.  Teach quilting classes.

6.  Run one race a month – registration in place through March.

7.  Play and practice tennis.

8.  Write the quilting blog.

9.  That’s emough!

10. Keep the kennel going – make lists of the maintenance that needs doing this winter and keep on top of all that.

OH Boy – I’m going to need to lie down.

Going to need buckets of energy – so Goodnight all, tomorrow is always a brand new, shiny start – just keep polishing the day until the sun goes down.

Weebles

Late Tonight.

So – I have had a lovely day – worked in the studio and thought a lot about where I am going.  So I have done what I needed to do and thought about where I want to go – so to bed!

Maybe Mark is the one – time will tell – I love me!

Hands were held!

Now that might not seem very exciting to any of the youngsters out there, but at 54, holding hands on a fourth date is down right amazing.  We were watching the movie and laughing together at the same things, and eventually a little arm tickling became a hand hold – wonderful.

After the movie we went for food, and talked and laughed for hours – about two hours after the meal was finished – lots of dirty looks from the wait staff.

Then back to my car and he planted one on my lips – just long enough to be considered a kiss, not long enough to be taking advantage – perfect.  There is a long way to go just yet, but this one may stick – seems promising for another date at least.

So it’s back home too late to work on anything, but progress will be made tomorrow.  I will revisit my financial goals and work on how the list can work towards fulfilling them.  Then I need to start on the quilting blog, and get some thoughts together for the website.

For the first time in a long time, I am excited about the future – I need to fill my days with achievements and enjoy the leisure activities that I have set up.  Those include a trip to Florida (aunt visit), a long weekend at Family Circle Cup, a trip to Paducah Quilt Show, running races and other quilting activities.  World – here I come!!!!!

Live, laugh and for heaven’s sake have a good time.

Weebles

Good morning and welcome to 2012.

So today is my theraputic, painful, wonderful massage session.  Best thing I ever discovered to keep me on my feet and running both quilting machines. 

Then – watch this space! – I have a movie date.  This will be date number four, and I am quietly optomistic that we will get to holding hands today – I’ll let you know.

Then I am coming home and I am going to arrange the rest of this year.  Not resolutions so much as a list of things I want to achieve, and a plan to get them done.

Depending on what time I get in, I will start laying the flooring in the dining room.  Aside from the kitchen, utility room and master bathroom, this floor is the last big space to be done.  So here is the list:

1.   Finish renovating the house.

2.   Put together a comprehensive portfolio of quilting classes and promote myself as a teacher.

3.   Write the ‘Quilt Recipe’ book.

4.   Start the ‘Best in Show’ quilt.

5.   Start training for the ‘Year of Racing’ quilt – this involves running one race every month in 2012, collecting 12 T-shirts and making the quilt from said shirts.

Which is a heck of a list when I consider what is involves in each item.  So it’s time to get busy!  Progress will be monitored via this blog, and I am looking forward to finally getting going in 2012 – been a slow start, but here I come!!

Live, laugh and talk to one stranger today, maybe they are a new friend.

Weebles